ARE YOU HAVING HEALTHY FINANCIAL KŌRERO IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP?
Talking about pūtea in a relationship can be difficult, as everyone has their own views on how pūtea should be managed. Whether you share bills or have joint accounts, kōrero on pūtea and your financial goals is an important part of any relationship, so we want you to feel comfortable and confident when having these discussions!
Good Shepherd NZ share their tips for having healthy financial kōrero with your partner:
Understand each other’s relationship with pūtea – a good place to start is understanding your own and your partner’s relationship with money. So – have a kōrero about it! Learning about each other’s journey with money can help you look at things from another perspective and see why you both have certain spending or saving habits.
Don’t know where to start? Here are some pātai to get you started:
- Who managed the pūtea and bills in your whānau?
- How open were you and your whānau when talking about pūtea?
- Do you see pūtea as good, bad or just necessary?
- What would you consider to be a luxury item?
Start the kōrero slowly – sharing a money goal you are working on is a good way to start the kōrero on pūtea. This could include saving for a holiday or working on paying off debt. Sharing these goals can remove some of the worries about the subject and it can encourage your partner to share their own goals. Over time, having kōrero about pūtea will begin to flow more easily, and you’ll have more confidence to have more in depth conversations.
Set the scene/find the right time – when having a challenging conversation about money, thinking about where and when is important. The location should be somewhere where it is easy to talk openly. This should be a safe space for both parties that is comfortable, away from others overhearing, and free from interruptions. Some ideas could include:
- At home while tamariki are asleep
- Out in a public area where it can be relaxed – maybe it’s a coffee date!
- Take it outside – find a nice spot or go for a walk and talk it out
Make sure you aren’t tired or stressed as well. Wait until you are both in the right headspace, tamariki are settled, and the mood is good.
Think about your language – think about how you use your words, tone of voice, body language and facial expressions. An open kōrero needs to be non-confrontational and non-judgmental, so try using language that reflects this.
For example, rethink phrases such as ‘you should really change your view on’ or ‘you always do this’. Instead try ‘what about we’ or ‘how could we do this differently moving forward?’.
Value each other’s contribution – in a healthy relationship all contributions are valued. Although one person may contribute more financially, the other may contribute more time on household tasks or looking after tamariki. Make sure you both value each other’s contribution because as the saying goes, teamwork makes the dream work! If you both value your different roles, you’ll be able to make good decisions together.
Celebrate the small things – we all know that pūtea can be stressful and challenging, so make sure you also celebrate the wins when they happen. This could be paying off a debt, not touching your savings, saving on your grocery bill or reaching your Whai Rawa matched savings goal! Remember e te whānau, the small things are worth celebrating as they all add up towards your bigger goal.
DID YOU KNOW
Good Shepherd NZ have a toolkit for Healthy Financial Relationships where you can find all the tools you need to have healthy financial kōrero with your partner. These tools will help you gain a better understanding of your own relationship with money, while having more effective and positive money conversations with your partner.
Check it out here: www.goodshepherd.org.nz/courses/healthy-financial-relationships-toolkit/
The information contained on this page is intended for general guidance and information only and is not personalised to you. It does not take into account your particular financial situation or goals.
The links shared and associated content hosted on our websites or hosted on any third-party provider websites have not been vetted or otherwise approved by Whai Rawa Fund Limited and neither Whai Rawa Fund Limited, nor Te Rūnanga o Ngāi Tahu endorse the linked material or its provider in any way. The information provided by these links and third-party providers is not personalised to you and your situation. Before making any investment decision, you should refer to the Product Disclosure Statement and / or consult a licenced financial advice provider.
Whai Rawa Fund Limited is the issuer of the Whai Rawa Unit Trust. A copy of the Product Disclosure Statement is available at www.whairawa.com/pds. All content is subject to WRFL’s financial advice disclosure statement available here www.whairawa.com/financial-advice.